DTWM - Body Image

Being yourself is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. Ultimate happiness resides in being you. Authentically you. 

Have confidence in yourself as a person, not a size. Don’t let your look keep you from doing things that you enjoy. Let your individuality shine. Be your body’s ally, not its enemy. Live in the pursuit of authenticity. 

Appreciate your inner being, soul and spirit. You are a biological masterpiece.

                             

Body image is subjective. There are so many different ways to define it. Although the idea of the ideal body image has radically changed throughout history, many are constantly navigating life with the assumption that “ideal” means: smooth, symmetrical, clean, thin, lean, delicate and young. Having a positive body image doesn’t mean that you don't care about your body composition or appearance. The problem occurs when you attempt an extreme style of eating or training in order to look “normal.”
I give you permission to reject body image standards. Redefine your ideal. Be you. 

Your gender, ability, age, ethnicity, mental status, sexual orientation and nationality matter. You are so much more than a look. You are an incredible human being. 

Never let anyone convince you that a lighter version of yourself will make you more successful. And never ever let anyone make you feel ugly, unworthy or unattractive. 

You write the guidebook when it comes to your body image. Play by your rules. 

Never stop caring about your health. But remind yourself that you have choices. You get to decide what is healthy. Your body. Your decisions. Your life. 

It’s time to heal your dysfunctional relationship with food and your body. Don’t stop the work that is needed for complete body acceptance. You deserve to live a life of loving your body - because your body is incredibly beautiful and amazing.

                                  

Is there a voice inside your head telling you to spend a tremendous amount of time and effort in pursuit of your “ideal” image? This voice is a causing you to miss out on living your best life. Don’t let a number on the scale or clothing size determine your self-worth. Success doesn’t come from an image. Healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.

Take note of the damaging messages society is sending to you about beauty and health. The media is constantly trying to tell you that you are not good enough. Society is obsessed with size. The smaller the better. Altering your body is not the solution. Your own perception of your body is driving your constant feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and unhappiness. This must change.

Your body is not the enemy. Don’t let your body stand in your way of you living your best life.

If you reach a lower body weight, this does not increase your value as a person. Similarly, being happy at your weight (even if it doesn’t match the ideal image) doesn’t decrease your value as a human.

You are not your weight.

Change the narrative.
Reject weight based values.
We value what we love.

Value the traits that make you feel worthy.
Value the incredible machine that carries you through life.
Love the qualities that make you unique. Love the human being that you are.

The way that many think about weight loss is very unproductive. When you approach a diet with an all-or-nothing mentality, it only takes a matter of time before an all-in approach results in a rebound back to nothing. It's hard to be restrictive for an extended period of time. 

Don't aim for a weight goal. Don't make your image the focus. A scale measures how much force exists between your body and the planet Earth. It does not measure success, effort, happiness, courage and self-worth. It surely can't measure your awesomeness. 

Much of the pressure to change body composition stems from wanting to meet society's expectations of how you think you 'should' look. This type of aesthetic-focused weight loss is typically much more extreme than what's needed to improve health. Your ideal weight is the one you achieve when you are living the healthiest life that you fully enjoy. Your best-life-weight will vary throughout a lifetime, as will your diet. 

Food is fuel. Food is nourishment. Food is comfort. Food is social networking. To only eat in the name of a specific body composition denies you of living your best life. 

A super restrictive diet with strict rules may help you lose weight but it may also make you miserable. Focus on behavior-based strategies that improve your health. Make changes that you can sustain for the long haul. Make changes you enjoy. Focus on behavior changes that you want to live with. Create goals that are worth pursuing in and of themselves. 

Make a gradual shift in your eating choices. Slowly change your lifestyle habits. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. 

Invest in your health.
Future proof your body.

Friendly reminder. 

Your body is constantly changing. Self-respect and body acceptance cannot be conditional.
Society has created the idea that your self-worth and happiness is defined by your weight, size, shape and image. 

This ideology is so deep-rooted that many are on a constant roller coaster of body obsession and dieting. 

What outside noise are you letting into your definition of self-love? It’s time to put self back in self-worth. Your worth must be determined by you. 

Value your body for the incredible machine that it is. Reject societies image of weight-based values. Be grateful for the body you are in. Be respectful, compassionate and kind to the body that carries you through life.

DTWM - Patience, it's ok, keeping showing up

DTWM - It's ok to be ok
There’s no denying that life during this pandemic has been distressing. Everyone is feeling an emotional burden and each of us are having a different pandemic experience. At the devastating end of the spectrum are the tragic losses: loss of life, loss of loved ones, loss of job and loss of mental and physical health. There's also the loss of normal rituals and routines. We lost the predictability that we often took for granted. This is a frustrating time of uncertainty.

Acknowledging the reality of our unpredictable situation, we must not demand that all circumstances should be favorable in order to be happy. There are plenty of reasons to struggle with our "new normal" but there are always bright spots in dark times.

While it's "ok not to be ok," it's also "ok to be ok.”
See the good. Be grateful. Celebrate. Spreading joy during sad times doesn't make you a bad person.
The ability to feel multiple emotions is the resilience that helps us navigate through difficult times.
Feelings aren't right or wrong or good or bad. They just are. Whatever you feel at this unfamiliar time is ok.

You aren’t a bad person if part of you feels happy at times. If you can find, create or spread joy in this troublesome time, consider it a gift and a privilege - and most of all, be grateful for it.

DTWM - Patience 

We cut corners and look for shortcuts. We want quick answers to complex problems. We are intensely hungry for results. We love instant gratification. Another reason to love Mother Nature - she’s the best teacher for learning patience.

You may have recently found yourself growing more inpatient - with yourself, with others and with the current circumstances. Impatiently wanting to get back to normal life, as quick as possible.
With money to spend, work to get done, warm weather to enjoy and vacations to take, your impatience may be getting the best of you. You may feel like you’ve sacrificed enough and you can’t continue to live like this for any longer.

No matter how much you desperately want life to return to normal, this virus will not dissolve just because you are so over it.

We are all potential victims. We are all possible killers.

The sacrifices we make can save a life. As it relates to this virus, if there’s nothing to spread, there’s nothing to catch.

We all have the right to be impatient about our current situation. The virus is no less dangerous and the cure is no where in sight.

Patience requires that we are willing to forgo present satisfaction for future benefits. Indirectly or directly, your behavior and choices can protect yourself, your loved ones and the rest of our nation. Even if the odds are against you that you won’t die from this virus, you still have a moral obligation to protect your fellow community members and citizens.

During these unprecedented times, we must be patient, disciplined and selfless as we voluntarily curb our freedom and make smart choices, all in the interest of the common good.

Keep showing up

Life often throws unanticipated challenges at us. Although a challenge may cause disappointment, anger, frustration or sadness, you are ultimately the only one who can choose how you decide to react and respond to the challenges that life presents to you.

Much of the “unfairness” in the world is not within our control. Too often, the situations we get the most upset over are situations in which we have no control over. Step out of the victim mindset and view yourself as a survivor.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore current situations and pretend bad things don’t/won’t happen. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel anger or frustration over devastating injustices that are happening in this world.

It’s important to control your emotions in a positive way. Otherwise, negativity and unfairness can overtake your thoughts and control your emotions - making it difficult to feel good about the world and your role in it.

You can’t change someone else’s decision or behavior if they aren’t willing to change.
You can’t change the tragedies that have occurred in our nation but you can support causes that will help prevent future affliction.

Don’t assume society will magically change. The real change comes when you go within and do the work of inner transformation.

You can’t predict the future but you can increase the chance for success by being persistent and consistent.

Sometimes we need to accept that life will be unfair. And sometimes we will have a strong intuition to fight for what is right.

Life is a mixture of devastating loss, baffling experiences and joyous occasions. Life is a hodgepodge of unpredictable moments.

With the past behind you and the future still unknown, enjoy the present. Gratitude is always an option.
Your current situation may not be what you planned or wanted, but you must accept what is, keep showing up and do what you need to do to be the best human that you can be.

Deep Thoughts with Marni

Do you remember the SNL segment "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey"? 

Everytime I begin to write down my thoughts with pen and paper, I laugh to myself as I think about that sketch. As I type out my passionate words on social media, I can't help but laugh and think "Deep Thoughts by Marni." 

I am a deep thinker. I can easily get lost in my own thoughts and the only way for me to sort things out is through writing. I am very nostalgic and I love to learn. I consider myself to be open-minded and I often look at things from multiple perspectives. 

With so many ideas and thoughts circulating through my mind, exercise (or training) is the place where I have the freedom to explore and sort through my thoughts. Many times I'll start a workout with an anxious and racing mind and I'll finish the workout feeling calm and confident. Sometimes I'll have a brillant idea before a workout and then come to my senses when the workout is complete. On the other hand, many of my great ideas do happen during my workouts. 

Over the past few months, I've found myself thinking a lot more than normal. With so much going on in the world, I've had a lot to think about. It can be uncomfortable at times. Writing has always been my outlet for my thoughts. Since I was little, I've always enjoyed writing. It's often therapeutic for me. Whereas my mind often thinks in incomplete sentences while mashing together unrelated (and often illogical) thoughts and ideas, writing helps me organize my thoughts and dismiss what's not relevant or practical. Writing is an opportunity to purge thoughts instead of letting them marinate in the mind. The great thing about writing is that it gives you the freedom to express yourself (or your thoughts) without beind judged. 

I've been sharing some of my writings on social media and thought I'd document a few of them here on my blog for easy viewing. Perhaps you'd like to share them with a friend or pin them for your own future reference. While I write for myself, maybe you'll find them helpful in your own life journey. 

Throughout the upcoming week, I'll share some of my favorite "deep thoughts." 
To start, here is a DTWM (Deep Thoughts With Marni) post that I shared on the topic of "not giving up." I wrote this on the day when I was supposed to race 2020 Ironman Lake Placid.

It's inevitable that any athletic journey will have moments of self-doubt.

Over the past 14 years, I have completed 16 Ironman distance triathlons. During each race, I contemplated giving up. No race was free of struggles and adversity.

But to keep me going, I have a saying that I frequently repeat to myself during tough times.....

"Don't give up on an uphill."

I use this saying to remind me that it's so easy to give up when things get difficult. When something is uncomfortable, we are in a state of uncertainty, expectations are not being met or we are in a place of frustration, giving up often feels like the right thing to do.

Today I was supposed to race my 17th Ironman - Ironman Lake Placid. This incredibly beautiful location in upstate NY holds a very special place in my heart - it’s where Karel raced his first Ironman distance triathlon in 2013 (our first Ironman together) and the majestic mountains gave the impetus that prompted our move to Greenville. Today would have been our 4th trip to Lake Placid.

Athlete or not, these are trying times. We are all on a very steep uphill and it's very uncomfortable.

During times of trouble, stress and unpredictability, it can be difficult to find meaning to life, causing a loss of motivation. A common response in trying times is to give up. If you have tossed around this thought in your head, you are not alone. And your feelings and emotions are validated.

But like the strong thought of quitting on an uphill, when we give up, we settle for easy. Your reason for continuing must be strong enough to knock down the barriers that stand in your way.
If your mind is trying to convince you to give up, resist the urge of quitting on the uphill. Recognize the self-sabotaging forces that are dominating your process of thinking.

When all the odds are against you, there's something gratifying about not giving up. Not giving up is a mindset. It requires persistance, grit and a bit of stubborness. Refusing to give up as an athlete will strengthen you as a human being.

Embrace where you are with your emotions without any judgement. These feelings force you to validate your beliefs, ideas and choices. Strong emotions and feelings are the reality check needed to ensure that you are pursuing meaningful adventures in your one and only lifetime.

It's the times when life tries to break you down that you will be most tested. Stay strong and resilient as you persevere through adversity.

Never give up on an uphill.