Overcome your fear of trying something new

 
Photo: @Supercycling

In life, we are often given the opportunity to try something new or to do something for the first time. 

It's easy to stay in your comfort zone. Or you can face the fear and step out of it. 

Trying something new typically means that there is a chance for failure. 

It's hard, risky and scary to take the leap and to try something new. You may look silly or embarrass yourself. You may have to ask questions. You will feel unsure of yourself. You may feel vulnerable. 

Two months ago I rode a gravel bike for the first time. Last weekend I participated in my first gravel race. Oddly enough, I have found myself looking forward to each riding opportunity as I get to learn new skills. And this came as a surprise to me because my history of bike riding has been filled with a lot of fear any time I was forced to step (or ride) outside of my comfort zone. 

After participating in endurance triathlon for over 14 years, it's has been a really long time since I have done something for the first time. Gravel riding has been a refresher to feel like a beginner again. 

Saying no to trying something new keeps you safe as you avoid any possibility of embarrassment, stress, shame, anxiety or failure.  

Saying yes to trying something new but wanting to master it immediately can set you up for failure and frustration. 

Trying something new is a learning process. You are going to make mistakes. Learning something new is how you grow. It's how you explore your abilities and capabilities. Yes, it can be stressful, fear inducing, humbling and humiliating but when you let go of fear, you can learn to love the challenge of trying something for the first time. 

When was the last time you launched yourself into a new experience?

Don't be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. 

There is a world of opportunities out there. 
Are you ready to take the leap?

GVL WBL #6 - I almost succumbed to fear of failure

 
Photo by Yannick

Over the past six weeks, Karel and I have been participating in the GVL WBL (Greenville Winter Bike League) group ride.The ride starts and finishes at Trailblazer park, which is a convenient 2.9 miles from our house (we bike there and back). 

Every week I anxiously check the website for the upcoming route and mileage. The ride is put on by Debbie Milne and Andrew Crater and it's a very well organized, safe and well-supported ride. Thankfully, we have such a bike friendly community so having a group of 30-80 cyclists isn't a problem on our quiet country roads. We have been introduced to new routes - which is always exciting for us to find new bike-friendly roads. The riding options here in Greenville are endless! Each ride also has a designated stop around half way (to fuel/refuel) and there is always one or two SAG support vehicles that follow us along and mark the KOM/QOM or sprint zones with signs. Like I said - it's super organized! Everyone brings a mask (or buff) to wear at the start, finish and during the stop and there are even raffle prizes and other cash awards for finishing the ride.

Karel and I have joined this strong group of cyclists every Saturday for the past six weeks - except for ride #5. Our most recent ride (ride #6 past Saturday) was the longest group ride at just under 80 miles, 4.5 hours and a little over 5000 elevation gain. It was also our coldest ever ride - in the low 30's, cloudy and windy. It even snowed on us during the ride! (well, it was flurries but we count that as snow here in Gville).

As if our terrain wasn't challenging (and hilly) enough, we take it up one notch by factoring in group dynamics, competing for the KOM/QOM (King and Queen of the mountain) and most recently, competing for a "sprint." While this is all in good fun to build fitness and to socialize, each ride has tested me in many ways - physically and mentally. 

The ride always starts out tough. It takes me a good 60-90 minutes to really feel my muscles start to wake up (and this is after doing a solid 20+ min mobility, foam rolling and active stretching workout before we leave for the ride). The pace is never crazy fast but it's also not easy. Riding in a group requires me to be ON, not just physically but also mentally. Thankfully, I've learned a lot from Karel and his bike racing days so my group riding skills are pretty good (but I'm always trying to improve).

After the KOM/QOM (~0.7 mile segment at 32 miles into the ride), I felt really defeated that I wasn't able to climb as I had hoped. With only five of us females in the group, the competition is fierce. I ended up 4th on this QOM. I gave it all I could but my best effort on this day was not good enough. Of course, it's all in good fun. But I did have a brief moment of self-doubt. Karel gave me a quick pep talk and within a minute or two, I forgot that the climb ever happened (mentally, not physically. Physically that climb was still with me - as was the past 32 miles). 

Next up was the women's sprint at around 50 miles. There were five of us ladies racing at the front for around 3 miles. Prior to the start of the women's sprint, I had thought to myself that I would just sit this one out (and ride with the guys in the group) and not participate with the other four ladies. But then I would feel like I was missing out. It then occurred to me....

I was afraid to fail. I had fear of failure. 

In my mind, not trying was safer to my ego than giving it a go and possibly failing. 

At that point I decided that I would give it a go and be proud of my effort for trying. As someone who loves to test myself, I was a little taken back that I was counting myself out before I even had an opportunity to see what I was capable of achieving. 

In the end it all turned out just fine. I ended up just missing winning the sprint finish by an inch and was out-sprinted by Claire (she's super strong - as are all the ladies). I had a lot of fun mixing it up and playing tactics with the other ladies. Although my legs were pretty smashed for the next few miles until our store stop, it was all worth it - because I didn't succumb to fear of failure. 

The ride was challenging but that's what I come for. To me, it's fun to feel challenged. It's fun to see what I can do with my body. It's fun to be around other like-minded individuals who are crazy enough to ride in cold, windy conditions for 4.5 hours. 

No one likes to fail. Not reaching your expectations can cause feelings of regret, confusion, anger, frustration and of course, disappointment. Although all of these emotions are normal, what's not healthy is when the emotions transfer over to your own self-worth and self-belief system and in turn, impact your actions. 

I discussed my fear of failure with Karel and it felt good to hear, out loud, how my thoughts were about to negatively impact my actions. 

Here are a few signs that you may be sabotaging your chance of success due to fear of failure: 

• Worrying about what other people think about you. 
• Worrying about your ability to reach a goal or feel prepared for an event. 
• Worrying that you won't be liked by others. 
• Worrying that other people won't think you are hard working, worthy or capable. 
• Worrying about disappointing others. 
• Telling other people beforehand that you don't expect to do well in order to lower expectations.
• Giving reasons (or excuses) why you may not succeed. 

Every time I go into this group ride, I focus on what I can control. I know I am the lone female triathlete in the group but I don't use that as an excuse. I go into this ride with plenty of sleep. I fuel for this ride as if it was a race - being extra mindful of eating more than enough in the 48 hours before the GVL WBL ride. This also means making sure that I fuel well around and during my workouts during the week as each workout is adding fatigue to my body and I need to do my best to arrive to this ride relatively sharp and strong - and so I don't get dropped! I find that far too often, athletes will underfuel for training and overfuel on race day. Why? Because of the pressure to succeed. Because of the fear of failure when it matters. 

As a lifelong swimmer, I trained with a group for an individual sport. I learned at a young age that I needed to take care of myself in order to keep up with others. Still today, I see group workouts as a prime opportunity to make sure I am not self-sabotaging my ability to succeed on event/race day. For when you are alone, there's no one to compare yourself to, to compete with or to keep up with. It's so easy to underfuel, not drink enough, slack on sleep, fall short on sport nutrition or skip mobility - all things that you would never do before a race. I value group training for the accountability to not neglect the every day things that can negatively or positively impact training and health. 

Just imagine what your body would be capable of achieving in training if you put the same awareness, focus and effort into your nutrition, hydration, mobility and sleep as you do before a race? What you do every day matter. 

Don't self-sabotage. 
Don't succumb to the fear of failure. 

You are capable of so much more than you think you are. 

Overcome the fear of failure

When things don’t go as planned, the disappointment of not fulfilling your hopes and expectations may cause you to interpret your effort as a failure.

I am not strong.
I am not fast.
I am too heavy/fat.
I am not talented.
I will never be good enough.
Everyone else is better than me.
This training is not worth it.    

In order to avoid the frustration and sadness that comes from a failed performance/effort (or setback), you may find yourself doubting your ability to improve or to make changes, so you give up.

Letting go of your fear of failure may actually help you reach your goals.

Every day you fill your mind with thoughts and that inner dialogue may falsely recognize your weaknesses. Ultimately, when you believe in your negative thoughts, you will have reason to give up. With this self-doubt, you may find yourself saying "this is too hard/it's not worth it."  

As an athlete, you can't let fear of failing get in your way.    

Fear of losing or coming in last.
Fear of not meeting time goals.
Fear of doing something for the first time.
Fear of not doing something as good as others.
Fear of social acceptance
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of making a mistake.
Fear of pain.
Fear of taking smart risks. 

Fear of not meeting your own expectations.
Fear of the effort/work not paying off.
Fear of being judged.  
Fear of not reaching potential.
Fear of being a failure.
Fear of letting others down.
Fear of not being perfect.
Fear of not meeting personal standards/expectations.
Fear of not meeting the standards/expectations of others. 

We all have fears and it’s normal to have a fear of failing. But in life and through your athletic development, you will make mistakes. This is the best way to learn.  

Consider using the following mantras to help you overcome the fear of failure.
Select a mantra (or a few) to use before and during every workout or create your own positive saying to show yourself that your mind is just as strong as your body.    

I am brave.  

I am fearless.  

I feel the fear but I’m doing it anyway.  

I want to learn.
I don't care what other people say/think about me.

I am confident.  

I am determined.  

I will not give up, no matter what.
I will keep working until I succeed.
I accept/embrace the challenge.
I accept obstacles.
I welcome failure, it will make me stronger.  

I will find a way.  

I am highly focused on success.  

I am driven. 

I will be persistent through challenging times.  

I know my mind is just as strong as my body.
I am becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I will take action without fear.
I don’t need to be perfect to experience success.
I can overcome anything that comes my way.
I am willing to make the investment to get better.  

I will not let my high expectations stop me from learning/trying.
I will not be hard on myself. 

I am allowed to make mistakes.
I am human.
I will always have fun.
I am turning into a more confident athlete.
I love to inspire others.
I am positive that I will succeed.
I can overcome any failure or setback.  
I do not lack talent or ability.
I know how to stay confident when times are tough.
I know how to stay in the moment.
I gain strength from doing things that are difficult.
I have no expectations, not low expectations.    

Welcome the opportunity to stretch your physical and mental limits as you explore your physical boundaries. When you feel pressure, rise ­up to the challenge. While you shouldn’t go out an intentionally fail by doing something that is not well planned or executed, welcome the obstacles that you need to experience when trying something for the first time. When things don't go as planned, the worst (but best thing) that can happen is that you can learn for the next time.

Above all, when you don't fear failure, you will always have the fulfillment that you tried and you will be more prepared for the next time.