Are self-imposed barriers holding you back?

 

There's a good chance that while driving on a road trip, you've been stuck in traffic, had to follow a detour or experienced a road closed sign. When something doesn't go as expected or takes a different turn, it can be inconvenient and frustrating.  While these situations are out of your control, sometimes the obstacle in life is not something or someone else but rather, yourself. When it feels like something is holding you back, the most significant obstacle standing in the way of success and/or happiness may be yourself.  We've all been stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, self-destruction, procrastination and self-doubt. Although the causes can vary and can be very situational, a common reason for feeling stuck is trying to always live up to societal expectations. Rather than building your life with intent, defining what a successful life means to you and making decisions based on what truly brings you joy, a set of social expectations and societal norms are constantly shaping your attitudes, beliefs, goals and values. As a result, you may find that you are constantly being held back from pursuing the best version of yourself.  Limiting beliefs are formed early in life based on our upbringing (ex. criticism from coaches, teachers or parents), experiences (ex. past failures, recognition, achievements) and societal expectations (ex. having a successful career, starting a family, being popular). These beliefs are ingrained assumptions about ourselves, others and the world that we live in and we are taught to believe that we must follow certain paths or hit certain milestones to be happy and successful.  Overcoming limiting beliefs is critical for personal growth and quality of life. Self-imposed barriers can hold you back from taking a risk to change careers, move to a different state, escape from an unhealthy relationship or try something new. You can't explore your potential (and what you can bring to society and give to others) if you don't open yourself to new opportunities.  If you feel like you are not getting the most out of your one and only life, it's time to look at some examples of how you may be living with self-imposed barriers..... I'm not....... I'm too....... I don't....... I can't...... By identifying your limiting beliefs, you can recognize patterns of fear, self-doubt or negativity. To understand if your limiting beliefs are valid, ask yourself if there is good evidence to support them. Can you challenge your limiting beliefs and replace negative talk with empowering thoughts and actions?  Don't let anyone - or yourself - get in the way of what you want to get out of life. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. For more articles, recipes, updates and tips, subscribe to our free weekly newsletter HERE.

Netflix "The Swimmers" - must watch to gain a new life perspective

This past weekend Karel and I watched "The Swimmers" on Netflix. We love watching true story documentaries, especially with a sport focus.

Words can't describe how powerful this movie was to watch. It brought back some uncomfortable emotions and memories from Karel who immigrated to the US over two decades ago. 

The film is based on the true story of 17-year old Yusra and 20-year old Sara who left their home and family in Syria to travel to Germany due to the escalation of the Syrian civil war. Yusra was determined to make the 2016 Rio Olympics as a swimmer, with the support and coaching from her father. Germany would give her the opportunity to pursue her (and her fathers) dream. The 25-day journey from Syria to Germany involved airplanes, boats, lots of walking, buses and taxies. 

The film shows the many obstacles and struggles of being a refugee. Although swimming is the reason why the sisters left Syria, this movie shows the complicated lives that people from around the world live through and how they maintain incredible values when making the difficult decision to leave their home and family in hope of finding a better life. 

After the movie, I asked Karel if he ever felt like he was not going to make it in America when he had no money and he only owned what he was carrying in his backpack and his reponse was "I couldn't go back to Czech. I couldn't fail. I had to make this work." Although Karel's situation was nothing like what refugees experience when wanting to leave violence, war, hunger and poverty, this movie is a reminder that just because someone leaves their country, this doesn't mean that life automatically becomes comfortable, safe and easy. Similar to Karel's situation, the 'swimming sisters' lost everything to have to start all over again. They were determined to take every opportunity available with optimism and were grateful for all the positive things that happened.

This movie had so many valuable lessons. I feel the biggest lesson was on perspective. It's so easy to focus on what is not going well, rather than focusing on what is going well - never feeling satisfied. But changing perspective can help you appreciate what you have and how to enjoy the little things in life. The Mardini sisters also reminded us to never give up when things get tough and to stay patient.

Consider this picture above of two numbers - 6 and 9. This concept shows a powerful message about perspective and point of view. If two people stand on either side of the number, one person sees a 6 and the other sees a 9. Both are right and both are wrong when describing what they see.

You may not realize how important your perspectives can impact your life. Many times, if you find yourself stressing, worrying or complaining over something, you may just need a small shift in your perspective. If you want to change your life, you need to change the way you look at it. You need to discover a new perspective This may mean changing your mindset, your outlook, your attitude or looking at things from a different point of view. To help you get started, here are a few ways to change your perspective to change your life:

• Don't compare yourself to others
• Don't stress over the small stuff - it's not worth it
• Embrace change
• When something bad happens, accept it and learn from it
• Finding the silver lining during difficult situations
• Never take anything for granted
• Appreciate the little things in life
• Forgive and forget
• Don't be afraid to fail
• Don't be so hard on yourself
• Live based on your values and morals
• Take time for yourself
• Take time to care for yourself to better take care of others
• Surround yourself with positive-thinking people
• Live life with purpose and meaning
• Appreciate what you have
• Give back to others
• Let go of worries and live in the present
• Believe in yourself

It's (almost) race day - how to get in a positive headspace

 The past 12+ months have caused a lot of uncertainty and instability, bringing on a lot of emotional distress. If you have had difficulty concentrating, experienced hopelessness or have felt anxious, nervous, frustrated or stressed out, you are not alone. And with an upcoming race on the schedule, you may find it difficult to get yourself into a place of positive thinking so that you can stay confident and focused under pressure. Instead, you may find yourself lacking self-belief due to irritational or distorted thinking. 

To feel more optimistic and empowered, here are a few tips to help you get in a positive headspace before your upcoming event: 

• Avoid energy suckers - it's not easy to deal with negative people who suck the energy from you and leave you feeling discouraged, upset and drained. Because you can't completely shut everyone out of your life (ex. acquaintances, family, co-workers), it's important to set boundaries and minimize contact in the days leading up to your race. If you are unable to get away from energy suckers, avoid participating in their negative conversation or try to divert the conversation completely. 
  
  
• Avoid social media - a lot of time and emotional energy is wasted on social media. Obtaining a sense of self by comparing yourself with others can increase depressive symptoms, negative body image and poor self-esteem. Because social media tends to prioritize the "highlight reel" of the lives of other people, it's easy to slip into a negative state of mind by comparing yourself with others. It takes great discipline to not let social media steal your time and energy. Don't let social media drain your valuable energy that can be used on race day. 
  
  
• Stay processed driven - many athletes view a race result as the primary indicator of whether or not you've had a successful race. Expending a lot of mental energy on an outcome will increase anxiety, nerves and pressure, because once you start thinking about results, you can't ever get your mind away from them. As a result, in order to deliver a certain result, you need to focus on that result. This outcome focus mindset puts all the energy into the end result but the paradox of outcome focus is that it can actually reduce your chance of having a great race. Why? Because you can never predict what will happen on race day. Ultimately, you are going to perform at your best when you focus on what you need to do to perform at your best. 
  
  
• Welcome your pre-race jitters - pre-race butterflies are a normal part of racing. They help you focus and perform better because it means you are excited  and amped-up to race. Embrace your pre-race jitters as this is your body's way of helping you feel prepared. Trust that once you get the race started, you will get into a state of flow, which allows you to stay calm, confident and focused. However, performance anxiety can make you physical sick to your stomach, worried, anxious, drained, exhausted and stressed - none of which will help you get into a good headspace before the race. Many times, pre-race anxiety or worry comes from a place of fear of failure. Worrying about what others may think, not meeting expectations, not feeling fully prepared, negative self-talk and focusing on an outcome or result will only put you into a negative state of mind before the race. Remind yourself that racing is fun and it's a celebration of training. 

If you are in need of help: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255

Mood-Boosting Tips

                   

Staying positive and optimistic in such an unpredictable time is tough. We could all use some good vibes right about now. 

If you are in need of a mood boost, give these simple tips a try:

• Cultivate gratitude - It's difficult to feel positive about your life if you are constantly making comparisons. We've been culturally conditioned to focus on what we don't have, instead of appreciating what we've already achieved or received. To turn your mood around, change your outlook. When you are grateful for what you already have, you'll feel more joy and contentment - no matter what you have or don't have in your life.
  
  
• Make a list - Bad, upsetting and dissapointing news is everywhere right now. If you spend a lot of time watching, listening and reading, you'll feel sad, negative and emotionally depleted. Everyday, write down at least five things you are grateful for. If you feel stuck, start by being thankful for the fact that you are making time to be grateful.
  
  
• Appreciate yourself - Take time to value your positive qualities and accomplishments. It's easy to focus on what you need to do or what you failed to do. Celebrate the big and small successes in your day - especially the work you accomplish when you don't feel like working. If may not feel natural to give yourself an ego boost but you deserve to be acknowledged. Life is constantly evolving and changing. Learn to embrace the space in-between where you are and where you want to be. 
  
  
• Be creative - Your brain is a muscle that needs daily exercise. Not only can you reduce stress, but doing something creative is distracting - especially when you are forced to try something new. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your creative projects with that of someone else. Creativity doesn't have to be a competition. Creativity is a way to create and innovate. Creativity is about doing meaningful and fulfilling activities. 
  
  
• Get outside - Spending time in nature helps leave stress and worry behind you. It gives you an opportunity to rejuvinate and focus on more simple and refreshing thoughts. Even if your time is limited, your brain deserves a chance to relax. Instead of scrolling your social media feed or watching TV, visit a local nature park or take a walk. Your mind, body and soul will thank you. 

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.”

― Alphonse Karr

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