A Better Alternative to New Years Resolutions

 

On the eve of 2021, the classic tradition of New Year's resolutions may look a bit different.

In a year of living with restrictions, being let down, feeling unproductive, and not being able to make plans, you are probably looking ahead to the hopeful end of this pandemic and returning to a life of normal. 

Because of this unprecedented time, we are all feeling a bit reflective about the year that we leave behind us and this may be affected your expectations for 2021. 

For those who typically make resolutions, you may be feeling the need to do without in 2021 - "why bother?" you say to yourself. Or, perhaps you want to create a resolution for 2021, even though you have generally avoided them in previous years. 

As it relates to New Years Resolutions, to be honest, the meaning behind it all is somewhat impractical. Sorry to be a downer but there's got to be a better way to self-improvement. 

Here are a few reasons why New Year Resolutions don't always work: 

1. Don't wait all year to decide on one or two things that you sorta, kinda want to or need to stop doing. Plus, the timing's all wrong - after the holiday season and into the cold, dreary winter months you suddenly decide that now is when you can stay motivated and commit to change?? Putting a lot of pressure on yourself can lead to an all-or-nothing mentality, especially if you don't have a realistic action plan.
    
2. Although a resolution sounds great on the surface, it's often based on what you think you should be doing - often decided upon by other peoples expectations, what's trendy on social media or by watching TV/reading a magazine. A resolution should have meaning behind it and it should be something that is supported by your core values in life. It should be based on what's important and what matters to you. Don't tie a goal to the New Year because everyone else is doing it. What matters most to you?
   
   
3. They can make you feel less-then if you don't meet your standards. Even when you have great intentions with your resolution - like abstaining from alcohol, getting 8 hours of restful sleep, exercising for 60 minutes a day or avoiding processed foods - a resolution with specific rules is a huge undertaking. A simple slip up of your high expectations for yourself can lead to discouragement and disappointment. If you are extremely self-critical, by the time mid January rolls around, you may find yourself throwing in the towel or making rules more rigid. Feeling upset about lack of progress, your resolution may turn into unhealthy behaviors and habits. 
   
   
4. The real value is in the experience, not in the end result. Sure, you may be motivated to make a change but your resolution should allow you to still enjoy life right now, right where you are. Otherwise, you will continue to be on the hunt for meaning, happiness and a boost in confidence. Don't burden yourself with a perfectionistic outcome. Enjoy the process over the outcome.  
   
   
5. You need to set yourself up for success. I find that the best way to do this is to pause and to reflect on what you have learned about yourself in 2020. Instead of just looking ahead and wanting something different, do a bit of soul-searching and think about your 2020 lessons learned, challenges, highlights and takeaways. Once you do this, you can then set your intentions (not resolutions) for 2021.

2020 Reflection Questions

1. What is the best thing that happened? 

2. What challenges did you overcome?

3. When new skills did you learn?
4. What was the most important lesson that you learned?
5. What new habits did you start?
6. How did you fail?
7. What got in the way of your success?
8. Who or what had the biggest impact on your life?
9. What did you leave unfinished?
10. What did you do for your physical and mental health?

2021 Intention Questions
1. What do you intend to be different at the end of next year?
2. What do you want to accomplish?
3. What will be your purpose next year?
4. How will you make next year matter?
5. What opportunities do you want to create for yourself?
6. What do you want to change completely?
7. What personal qualities do you want to strengthen?
8. What skills do you want to learn?
9. How will you take care of yourself physically and mentally?
10. Who do you want to become next year?

As a reminder, most New Year's resolutions fail because there isn't much thought into the meaning behind the resolution and what it will take to achieve them. Your focus is centered on what will happen when you reach your goal and there is no planned-out process of actually achieving the resolution. Plus, there's often little meaning attached to the resolution - it's something that you feel you should do. 

I'm all about self-improvement. Ultimately, you need to understand why you want to change and why it is what you want. Find purpose and meaning in every change of behavior, action, thought or habit. 

2020 Resolution: Body Respect

The year 2020 is here!

We all know that saying that is widely heard on January 1st..... "New Year, New You."

New Year resolutions come in many forms. As a promise that you make for yourself - in hope of new beginnings - you may be wanting to break a bad habit or create something more positive. For most, resolutions are goals that you want to accomplish over a course of several months or over the year.

If you suddenly feel the need to make a change, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be more active, eat a more nourishing diet or live a healthier lifestyle.

However, because most New Year resolutions involve diet and exercise in an effort to change body composition/weight, this resolution to look, feel or perform differently may become detrimental to your physical and mental health. It's not uncommon for resolutioners to restrict food/nutrients and mistreat their bodies in an attempt to reach weight loss goals. If your New Year, New You goal is to improve your health, you have lost all health benefits of your resolution by abiding to such strict, rigid and extreme dietary and exercise regimes.

Do you feel the need to conform to societal norms or to please others?

Is your self-confidence wreaked from all the things you feel you didn't achieve in the previous year?

Do you feel judged by your appearance?

Do you regularly compare yourself to others?

When was the last time you thought about who you are as a person?

Do you know yourself?

In 2020, I encourage you to make this year about being more kind to yourself. If you want to change something about yourself, learning how to respect yourself is an instrumental part of the process.
Search inwards to start understanding your "self."

Self respect is an important component of achieving a health-related goal. The more you respect yourself, the more you are able to take care of yourself. If you find it extremely difficult to treat yourself respect yourself, how do you expect to achieve something that is important to you?



On the topic of self respect is body respect. It doesn't matter how much weight you lose or what diet regime you adhere to, you have to respect your body before you make a change.

If you struggle with body dissatisfaction or body comparison or constantly find yourself gravitating toward the latest dietary fad in hopes of finding a diet that will actually work for you, let 2020 be the year where you focus on respecting your body.

When it comes to dietary or exercise resolutions, most stem from a place of frustration, dissatisfaction and disappointment. You probably don't like/love something about your body and you feel like making a change will help you love your body. But how can you properly take care of something that you don't respect?

To show your body respect, here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Update your wardrobe - Dress the body that you have right now. You deserve to buy clothes that fit you. If something doesn't fit right, don't wait until you are a certain size to buy new clothes. Show your body respect by buying clothes that you like and clothes that you feel comfortable wearing. Express your personal style - wearing clothes that make you feel great about your body. 
2. Clean-up your social media feed - Even a brief exposure to body-image posts can negatively impact your mood and your own thoughts about your body. Follow people who have a healthy and positive outlook on body image and spread good messages about health, food and exercise. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, unfollow. If anything, by diversifying the images you see on social media, you will constantly remind yourself that this world is better with a variety of body sizes, shapes, ages, ethnicities and genders. 
3. Thank your body - When you eat, exercise or sleep, you are doing something good for your body. Don't punish your body through your diet or exercise regime. Be mindful of negative self-talk, especially when you are feeling anxious, stressed or frustrated. During these times, you may take out your emotions on your body. Don't forget to thank your body for all that it allows you to do. Show compassion and kindness for yourself. 
4. Don't compare - Every body is different. What you see (body image) doesn't tell you what's going on inside of a person or in their private life (work, relationship, family, health, etc.). More so, what makes someone special has little to do with their looks or body. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, give yourself a pep talk by describing a few of your amazing qualities that make you unique and special. 
5. Live your best life - You don't have to look differently to be happy. There's nothing wrong with wanting to adopt healthier habits but don't value yourself by a number on a scale (or your look). Don't let your weight, shape or image stop you from doing activities that you enjoy. Don't let assumptions keep you from trying something new. Your appearance does not determine your self-worth. Make a difference in this world and make this world better because you are in it. 

Goal setting for 2014

I think a New Year is a great time to think about new goals but to also reflect on the past year. 

In your head, goals always sound great. 

Qualify for Kona or a National competition.
PR at my upcoming marathon. 

Travel more.
Be a better planner. 

Have a better attitude.
Get more active in my community.
Get a new position at work. 

But the challenging part is not only seeing them through but also, having an action plan that allows for progress, setbacks and everything in between. 

I thrive off goals. I can not function well in life without goals for goals give me meaning. They keep me motivated and they keep me enjoying the journey of life. I am never too hard on myself with my goals for I keep them as realistic as possible. And most of all, I know in life that things happen that stop me from being consistent. So the plan often changes, but never the goal. 

As we enter a New Year, this is a perfect time to set short and long term goals for yourself in the following areas:
LIFE
DIET/NUTRITION
EXERCISE/TRAINING

Consider what you have accomplished in the past as well as your strengths and areas for improvement. As an athlete, I know that being faster or stronger is not in training more but instead training smarter. For you, your goals should be similar to your passions in life. You should set goals that challenge you but also that will make you happy. You should always love what you are doing. Sure, things will always be hard at first but if you are dissatisfied with something or are seeking a new challenge in life, health, career, finances, social life, community or fitness, there's never a better time than NOW to experience something new. 

Create new goals - NOW

Goal setting allows you to experience life in a new way. With new goals you will step outside your comfort zone. Life will have a new meaning and purpose and may even give you strength in other areas that you never thought possible. 

Keeping things simple...goals take you somewhere new in life. 

Think about the last time you accomplished something? Perhaps a weight loss goal, a training/fitness goal, a career change. 

How amazing did you feel when all that hard work paid off? 

When you set a realistic, practical and meaningful goal, you can take pride in your achievements and also feel strength when you overcome obstacles. 

I love being able to see progress. This is why when I train for triathlons, I make sure to have specific workouts that allow me to see progress. I use my training gadgets, I do testing periodically and I also have specific workouts to challenge me to see how much progress I have made through each phase of training. 

Progress, for me in triathlons, is not always about a time, speed or distance but instead, thinking about what I was doing before and where I am today. Sometimes I find great success in overcoming obstacles or stepping outside my comfort zone even if physically, I have not made significant progress. 

I am so excited for you to set goals and to find joy in achieving those goals. But first you have to define your goals, write them down and know exactly where you are going and by when. 

1) Think about your past successes and failures/lessons learned. Your new goals should give you more confidence in life. 

2) Goals should inspire you, motive you and make you a better person. 

3) Goals need an action plan. How are you going to get there and by when?

4) Who's part of your team to keep you going when times are tough or to give you a high-five when you make progress? Be sure to surround yourself with energy givers and not energy suckers. 

5) How will you overcome challenges? What challenges are you expecting in the next year? 

6) How will you celebrate and acknowledge success? Be sure to not dwell on setbacks and forget to celebrate the milestones. 

7) What does this goal mean to you - mentally, physically, emotionally?

8) Will this goal keep your life in balance and does your action plan allow you to function well in society?

9) What kind of environment will you create to keep you moving forward?

10) What will you do when you reach your goal? What will it feel like?

Now that you have taken time to think about your goals - it's time to start your plan. 

How will you get there?
When do you want to get there?
What will it mean to you when you get there?

What goal will change your life in 2014?