Beat the winter blues with your tribe

 The winter can be a challenging time when it's cold and dreary but getting outside to exercise is an immediate mood booster. And as the saying goes, there's no bad weather, only bad clothing.

On Saturday morning, Karel went gravel biking with our friend Alvi and I joined the GVL WBL group ride. I've participated in this winter bike league for the past few years and it has significantly helped my mental health in the winter. Being inside or alone with my own thoughts is challenging for me and I find that I am the happiest when I am with people. I feel incredibly lucky that I have several swim partners and bike partners to help get me out the door when the weather is less than ideal.  

I returned home from my ride shortly before Karel and for the next 20 minutes, I couldn't stop talking about the ride. I told him about the 60+ people that showed up, the horses that ran alongside us in a farm, the guy who didn't have the best bike handling skills and was making me nervous being behind him, my effort on the QOM (and winning $20), meeting new friends, reconnecting with familiar faces, the spicy effort on Pumpkintown road with the juniors taking the lead and pulling the group, and chatting up a storm with my friend Carley. And all of this in ~35-40 degrees. 

This got me thinking about a sense of belonging and how important "tribes" are to my happiness. I had to make the effort to form my tribes but it was essential for connection and belonging. Even though I'm selfishly seeking tribes to help me with my training/fitness, it's nice to belong to something greater than myself. Connecting with people you most identify with is extremely important to well-being. 

If you struggle in the winter, find a tribe. If you can't find one, start one. You deserve to feel like you belong. Find people who share similar values and passions. Develop awareness of what's missing from your life, what you are looking for and what you enjoy. Commit time and effort to your tribe. Be willing to try new things and to step out of your comfort zone. Ditch the judgement. Be open-minded. 

Rituals and routines are so important for mental health. For 8 weeks in December and January, I know where I neeed to be on Saturday at 10am. Even though I only know a handful of people at the group ride, there's no judgement, only belonging, respect and being cared for. We all share a love for the bike, for being outside and for enjoying the many benefits that come with riding in a group. I love my cycling tribe. 

A sense of belonging in sport

 

Does it matter if you consider yourself an exerciser or an athlete? I say yes. 

When you sign up for an athletic event, you have a responsibility to embrace your athletic identity. You don't have to be competitive against others but you should desire to challenge and better yourself. 

Because your thoughts and beliefs about yourself lead into your actions and behaviors, embracing your inner athlete means including your athletic lifestyle within your self-identity. 

Once you learn to learn to identify as an athlete, you start to behave like an athlete. You make better choices with your sleep, nutrition and lifestyle, which will likely improve your overall motivation and quality of life. 

While it's powerful to identify as an athlete, it's also important to identify as a member of a team or community. 

When you are around likeminded individuals, you feel a sense of belonging. This brings acceptance, confidence, connection, fun, motivation and accountability. Your tribe can help you find strengths, skills and abilities that you didn't know that you had. Being part of a team means being part of something that is greater than yourself. 

We all crave a sense of belonging and it's necessary for a healthy and happy life. Belonging to a group that embraces who you are (rather than needing to hide or change yourself) is important. A big part of feeling confident as an athlete is knowing that you belong. And this 'belonging' can be in a team or in a competition/race/event. 

As an athlete, you can easily destroy your confidence when you feel you don't belong. It's easy to look for reasons why you aren't good enough. 

OR, you can remind yourself of the reasons why you belong where you are.

Regardless of your experience level, you belong. You didn't improve by chance. You are doing the work and improving because you belong. 

To help build a strong case for why you belong and to help you find your tribe/community, here are a few tips: 

• You should never have to change yourself. When you try to "fit in," you may try to impress others or change yourself for the group you are around. A true sense of belonging is that those around you accept you for who you are and appreciate your authentic self. 
  
  
• Identify your core values. These are the beliefs that are most important in your life. Knowing your values can help guide your actions and help you make decisions. Your core values are what you care about the most. 
  
  
• Spending time with people is critical to help with feelings of loneliness and boredom. Your tribe should be composed of people who share mutual affection and trust for one another. Your closest support system should play a positive role in your life and happiness. 
  
  
• You can't show off your true self and be accepted if you don't know what your true self looks like. Belonging is all about feeling accepted for who you are. This acceptance starts from you accepting who you are and not feeling the need to change in order to be liked. 
  
  
• Say yes to new opportunities and experiences by maintaining a curious mindset. To grow, you must accept others for who they are. Less judgement, more acceptance.